(looks up, staring at the audience)
Lawmen keep trying to run me off. But they can’t, I tell you, they can’t. This is Uncle Henry’s farm and they can’t take it from him. He won’t let them treat me like this.
(gestures at the house behind here)
Built everything back up after the tornado. Sure was a big mess to clean up, all the blood and everything. I’m Dorothy, by the way, Dorothy Gale. And this is Toto.
Miss Gulch called the lawmen, said I’m not supposed to be here anymore. Used to be she just said Toto didn’t belong, but that was just because he bit her. Now I don’t belong either, she says. She’s probably just angry because I dropped a house on her sister.
(stands up and looks around, as though straining to hear a sound)
Tornados sure seem to come up often around here. I don’t know anymore. Do I want a storm or don’t I? Every time there’s another storm, I think of my darling Tinman. But I can’t go back, not ever.
(sits back down)
I miss them all, the Lion and the Tinman and the Scarecrow and those darling little monkeys. When I was in OZ, everything was so bright and colorful. The little fluffy clouds, the yellow brick road, the Emerald City. OZ is so colorful, even the things have colors in their names. But everything here is worn to sepia. It doesn’t have to be, though. I can change it, make it better, make it greener. I could be like the wizard. Miss Gulch…the Wicked Witch…She better leave me and Toto alone. I won’t let her have him, I won’t. You dear little munchkins, you were there when the house landed on her, weren’t you? You saw that I didn’t mean to kill the Wicked Witch of the East. Miss Gulch has no right to be angry, houses fall on people all the time. Especially when they’re wicked. But you understand, I know you do. I remember the song.
(singing and skipping around)
Ding dong the witch is dead, which old witch, the wicked witch, ding dong the wicked witch is dead
See, I remember. I told you I remembered. I remember everything about OZ, but they don’t believe me. Anyway, I was saying about the farm. They won’t let me stay here, not since I dropped a house on Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. Don’t understand why. It isn’t Miss Gulch’s land to say I can’t stay, it belongs to Uncle Henry, and he’ll always let me stay because he loves me. He and Auntie Em are still here, in the basement. Right where I left them. It happens all the time, accidents, especially to wicked people. Shouldn’t be wicked, or a house might fall on you too.
(stares at the audience in silence)
I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to drop the house on them. It was an accident, the storm did it. The storm was supposed to bring them to OZ too. They were supposed to understand, like me. But there was an accident. It was so hard, cleaning up all the blood after. They can’t make me leave the farm. I won’t leave. I won’t leave Aunie Em and Uncle Henry. I can’t leave. I promised I’d never leave home ever, ever again. There’s no place like home…There’s no place like home…There’s no place like home…